No, the title to this entry is not a typo; that's Google's newest invention called SPDY, pronounced "SPeeDY". Ostensibly, it is intended as a replacement (no, not an addition, a replacement) to the HTTP dinosaur that we laughably call the backbone of the Internet.

As explained on their blog, Google claims to have invented a new, mo' betta way of handling the whole mess. As a matter of fact, they actually claim that their way is actually 55% faster than the current method of loading the top 25 websites, in "simulated" home networks.

First, how in the hell do you "simulate" a home network? Are they realistically throttling themselves by downloading the first three seasons of Smallville via bittorrent, or are they just turning a knob and setting their router to "home network"?

Now, I have a lot of respect (snicker) for the folks over at Google. I mean, these are the people who brought us the awe-inspiring Chrome browser that I can't even use, cause I actually run an operating system (Linux) and not a commercial for expensive anti-virus (Windows). But is this really a problem for most folks with broadband connections?

It's been something like five years or so since I last noticed myself biting my fingernails as eBay slowly rendered itself on my screen. I really haven't had much problems with latency since I gave up command-line ftp'ing my pr0n from badly-configured websites.

I think these guys should focus on getting us past Dec 12, 2012 and forget about making the internets faster. Unless of course they really wanted to make it so that I could watch four simultaneous episodes of Heroes while Googling for nude pictures of Ali Larter... In which case, I applaud their efforts and hope to see a prototype out soon!